My Unconscious Life

(':wink:')
Hope all that are still here are doing well, I apologize for the extended absence...
Just not that much of note to post, and not the time to do it! Love and peace to all,
D

My life has changed a little since I was here last...

I found out what it feels like to be...hmmm....old? Well at least diabetic...

I have changed jobs within the same company...(forced trasitioning sort of like a lay-off without actually leaving..)

I barely see old (good!!) frienda anymore...(most sad of all)

I have a son-in-law going to Iraq...

hmmm...ok well, I did finally become a vegetarian, it was not so hard to stop eating meat after all, and I am healthier for it, and true to my nature, now a vocal advocate!

Miss all my fellow t-bloggers much...

Peace and love to you all!

*d*

God bless us, every one!

Peace on earth, good will to all...

*d*

I don't know what is going on in the heavens, astrologically or otherwise, but everywhere I have been or read today, bad things are going on in the lives of nice people!

I send all the good thoughts, good energy and good vibes to all that need them: SheSpecies in her personal relationship turmoil, KrazedOne and her Jason in the hospital, Lindy and Cameron and I am not sure what pain and stress is going on with them, my friends at work and their mixed up traumas, my daughters and the stress between their husbands and now their dad's stepfather (is that a step-grandfather?) being put in a nursing home, having had some kind of breakdown, one of my daughter's mother-in-law having a couple of strokes and being in the hospital, my sweet man's good friend finding out he has cancer all over his body...I could go on and on! I can't figure out why all this is happening NOW, all at one time!? The moon is no longer full, what else is happening up there that seems to be screwing up EVERYTHING, even the Weather! ok, ok...I will take a deep breath, breathe in, sloowly breathe out...baby steps of breathing and a conscious warm mental hug to you all...I am here for you, just remember to breathe...

LOVE & PEACE...
but above all, LOVE

*d*

http://darcina.buzznet.com

I have some posted over here, from digital camera and camera phone, and elsewhere, so please go and enjoy, since I am still unboxing and trying to find out where normal is...

Thanks for your patience and for coming back to see if I am still around...Peace and love to you all, my tblogging friends!

*d*

Just working my tail off to get moved...yep we found a nice duplex in a nice neighborhood, 2 bedrooms, 2 baths, fireplace, empty field behind it, huge storage building, new carpet and newly painted and closer to work! Five years of living in this apartment and this packrat has TONS of stuff to go through and move!

Wish me luck in the battle of the fire ants, and everyone have a Happy Halloween!

Peace and love to all and to all a good night!

*D*

I (like most people, I guess) have a dark side I seldom show that is the flip side to my normally sunny and pollyanna-esque self. Which side is the real me? Both, of course. Sometimes I think maybe I have a little bit of a split personality because of this 'division of self'. Also because I go by my middle name with those who know me, family, friends, etc..but in the business world and back when I was in school, I am/was called by my first name. In my parents' wisdom, after waiting for me for 9 years, they named me after both of them, but since I had my mom's name as my first name, I was called by my middle name. At home. But at school, naturally they didn't care what you *wanted* to be called, you were just called by your first name no matter what! Well, maybe that is where it started, but as a southern girl, I was also taught that girls don't get mad, don't argue, don't fight, are always nice, sweet ladies. Ha! I am argumentative, and competitive by nature, so that part usually wins out eventually over the 'sweet lady'....heh...I also have a bit of affinity for dark things, like vampires, and of course I love black cats! (I have one that is 4, named Mickey)I love black leather and well...other things like that...and of course my cemetery prowling, mostly to look for ancestors and just for the fun of it ;)

Well back to another of my 'secret vices', watching VH1 & MTV...I am a TV junkie but in moderation! Only have Basic Cable, not the full blown package...

Bye for now, love and hugs, peace and harmony,
*d*

Kind of contradicts my earlier post, but that's me! A contradiction, an original, just me...


You're just the happy go-lucky type. You might have
your pet peeves, but other than that, you're
mainly calm. Blending in with your
surroundings, you're the type of person who
everyone likes. Usually it's you who cracks
jokes at social gatherings - after all,
laughter is the best medicine. Sometimes you
pretend to be stupid, but in all actuality, you
could be the next Einstein.


What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla

The Lost Soul


What sign of the Black Zodiac are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

1. I am 5'7" tall.
2. I wish I was shorter OR taller
3. I prefer not to tell what I weigh, it's only a number.
4. I am over 50 years old but I don't know how that is supposed to feel.
5. I am picky about spelling.
6. I am trying NOT to be so #5
7. 7 is not my lucky number.
8. 8 is my lucky number! (or 4 or multiples of 4)
9. My parents were divorced when I was 9, they were married 6 & 7 times each.
10. I have been married 3 times.
11. Twice to the same man.
12. I went to 20 different schools growing up.
13. The last 3 years of school was just at one school.
14. Rode on a Greyhound bus from San Diego, CA to NY at 15.(3 days & 3nights)
15. Went to live with my dad in Syracuse, NY when I was 15
16. Was 16 and "never been kissed".
17. First Kiss was at 18 years old
18. Love to Kiss.....
19. Love to Love....
20. I am an Aries, almost on the cusp of Taurus with a Gemini ascendent.
21. I am not a "typical Aries"
22. Not a "typical" anything
23. damned proud of it!
24. Still trying to accept that being different is okay, contradictory
to #23.
25. Trying not to be a "sheep".
26. Trying to learn to trust my "gut instincts/intuition" which is
actually rather good!
27. Trying to raise my awareness of energy and Karma
28. I believe in Karma.
29. I believe in Energy.(good-bad-other)
30. I believe "there are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio..."
31. I love books.
32. I love to read.
33. I love to Write!
34. I love people. (good-bad-other)
35. I love animals.
36. I love nature and big, old trees, even though it seems I am allergic to
everything green.
37. I try not to hate.
38. I have a bad temper sometimes.
39. I try to control it! When I do blow, it blows over fast.
40. I like water and would love to live near it.
41. I love to be up high, no fear of heights.
42. I would love to sky dive.
43. I am afraid of spiders, yes, I am arachnaphobic. Not proud of that.
44. Not afraid of most bugs but don't like any that sting!
45. I had eye surgery when I was 7 or 8, bandages for 2 days.
46. Helen Keller has been one of my heroines since I was young.
47. My dad was an alcoholic.
48. Dad's brother was also an alcoholic.
49. I think at least one of my sisters, maybe 2 are alcoholics.
50. I will never be an alcoholic.
51. I don't ever like having something control me. But I am not a
control freak!
52. I have dark blue (gun metal blue?) eyes.
53. I am not, nor have I ever been, SkinnY...probably never will be
either.
54. oH, did I mention I am very nearsighted?
55. Which means I can see up close, very well, far away, VERY badly
56. I like to go fast!!! (roller coasters, cars, etc...)
57. I control my need for speed while driving, ahem..well...I try!
58. I am patriotic, loyal, trustworthy, thrifty, etc.
59. But I was never a Girl (or Boy) Scout.
60. I have 2 daughters whom I love more than breathing....
61. I have 3 sisters, but have not seen 2 of them in over 5 years.
62. Love computers!!
63. Sometimes HATE computers...mostly because I want DSL...
64. and I want more TOYS..digital camera, connection from camcorder to
PC, CD-RW, burner, DVD player, and so on and so on..
65. I love soft things, smooth things, shiny things!
67. for example: silk, satin, velvet, diamonds, semi-precious stones..
68. Music speaks to my soul, I love many, many kinds, styles
69. I love to sing, and when I am alone or with someone I am TOTALLY
comfortable with, I SING!!
70. cannot play a single instrument, but I do have a couple of
tamborines and a rain-stick and I like percussion and bass the Best!
71. Year I met my ex-husband, father of my daughters.
72. year I was first married
73. year my older daughter was born.
74. How can I be old enough to have a daughter who is 30?
75. I want to write a book and be published.
76. If not, I want to own a store, preferably a book store.
77. I am crazy about Purple!
78. I love Rocks...!
79. I am good at languages, naturally, without trying very hard because I yearn to communicate.
80. I want to learn Japanese and Italian.
81. I like to touch and be touched.
82. My heart is easliy touched.
83. I cry easily for my emotions are usually right at the surface.
84. I laugh easily for the same reason as #83
85. I cut my baby sister's eyelashes once, because she cut the cat's whiskers off.
86. I used to catch frogs and grasshoppers when I was a kid, sometimes I still do!
87. I loved to climb trees and sometimes still do...
88. I like to flirt but I don't really feel like I am flirting, just havin' fun!
89. I love faces and hands...they tell so much about a person!
90. I love to learn new things!
91. I am stubborn, nope, I am NOT perfect.
92. I want to grow more spiritually. Hope I have time.
93. I love, love, love to dance! Haven't in a long time though...
94. I like numbers...guess it is good that I work in a bank, huh?
95. I was good in Math...I didn't know I wasn't supposed to compete with the
boys and I did finally give up after Geometry (bad bad teacher!) but I made A's and
B's in Algebra.
96. I used to be able to read music, from being in Girl's Chorus in Jr.High.
97. I was in Sing-Out-Austin the local equivalent to Up With People!
99. I sang in Church Choir.
100. I was in Future Teachers of America in High School. Also Latin and French Clubs.
101. I think this could go on and on and on, the more I think about things. So I will just say....
102. To Be Continued....

Just a quick note. The trip to the Buddhist Center was good. I found the guided meditation quite comfortable, and moreover the lesson on anger was very appropriate and absorbed easily. I think I may be a sort of natural Buddhist, I tend to expect the best from people, deplore and wish to alleviate suffering and don't like to see any living thing harmed. The hardest thing for me would probably come naturally after more study, that is not eating meat of any kind. More on this later. I always will embrace Christianity but I believe that "there are more things in heaven and earth..." and wish to learn all that any philosophy can teach me about life, love and purposeful living,leaving the world a better place in some small way...I believe in Karma, too...and would love to believe in "Instant Karma" of which John Lennon sang!

Well, I am droopy, got to get my honey and cat cuddling before I wilt completely!

Love and peace...
*D*

Going to learn meditation at a local Buddhist center in Irving tomorrow with a friend from work. She and I discuss all things Buddhist and she is one of the few with whom I can do this. I think she is on the agnostic side with heavy Buddhist Taoist leanings and we understand each other even though I was 'raised' Baptist. I believe church is a feeling and not a building to which you go. You cannot be a spiritual person just by going to church anymore than standing in a garage can make you a car. I know far too many Christians with stickers and fishes on their cars who act like they are better and smarter than anyone else, failing completely to get it... Okay, I am not going to Blog about religion and spirituality, I promise, I only want it to be known that in *my* mind it is not where you go, or who you know and hang out with or the volume of theology you have read and/or absorbed...it is how you are, how you live, how you strive to treat your fellow passangers on this dusty old ball in the universe that we call "Earth"...it is an awareness of things outside of 'you', it is a love for living things, it is an optimism and hope that never dies, being awake to the frailties of mankind and knowing that people will be more good than bad, and above all, taking the side of GOOD, not letting Evil and negativity prevail.

Okay off the Pollyanna soapbox! I only try, every day, to be a better person...I am still a work in progress...and this Sunday I am trying to learn to look more within to see what I can do to BE better, not just talk about it. I don't think Anyone has all the answers, and the smartest thing anyone can do is admit that they *don't* know!

I am off to watch Mad TV, and SNL reruns...

As always Love each other, or at least try...and Peace on ya!

*D*

Yes I have been bad, not blogging after being so caught up in all the folks who "live" here...but I have had my guy here with me, and after work it seemed more important to be with him and I *KNEW* you would understand!

Now we are looking for a place together where we can build a life or at least put all our stuff...he is a pack-rat, just like me, so we have to have SPACE! And a place that will accept my cat, and his RV, and all my Books, and All his computer stuff and, and,...well you see we are having a heck of a time finding space...also I want to be AWAY from the area I am in now and closer to work if possible. I live within a stone's throw of 6 Flags, Hurricane Harbor and The Ballpark. Traffic is **UH**...and if Jerry Jones builds a stadium here, I will just shoot myself...that's all I need, Basaball in the Spring and Summer and Football in the fall and winter...I know that would be some folks dream...but I would rather watch these things on TV than deal with the traffic...trust me.

So...I am only on here because the dear man went to Central Texas to check his mail and pay rent on the place he has his RV trailer stored. I can't stay though, he is gonna call me in about 10 minutes.

Love to you all, keep loving each other and I will be back with more later!
*D*

Still having fun with my KISA (Knight In Shining Armor) and will be going to the Hill Country for my 4 day weekend of the 4th...

Miss y'all! Gotta read a lotta blogs to catch up!

Everyone take care, remember what the 4th stands for...Freedom, Independence, USA and all that hokey patriotic stuff. It isn't about getting drunk and having car accidents and blowing your hand off with firecrackers...oh wait that may only be in Texas?! Well, anywho...just be careful out there and come back here and blog about it!

Love y'all, and Peace on ya... :wink:
*d*

I have been absent, I did not win the Lotto, my honey is here in town, in my apartment, (asleep in my rocking chair!) and I have neglected my blogging world...

I will be back, I am not gone forever, just busy and not online much...

Love and peace...
D

What to write about....I am feeling a little apathetic right now...I think I need to get offline and just do some reading...

You all are really great. I do believe this place has a spirit and heart I have not seen in a long time, if ever. If I can think of something else to write about, I will...

Oh! Wait! There is this really Huge Texas Lottery right now, and I went in to purchase tickets with friends at work! If we win we will split 120 Million Dollars! There are less than 20 of us, so we will all be millionaires if any of the tickets Win!!
Drawing is tomorrow night, 06-16-04 at 10:00pm Central Daylight Saving Time. Wish us luck! If I win, maybe I will just buy Tblog from Rocky and rename it D-Blog! {giggle}

Oh well, ya know, a dollar is cheap to pay for all the dreaming you can do about the possibility of becoming a millionaire! I can't even imagine what I would do first, can you?

Good Fortune, peace and love, always love, no matter what...
D

If I were music, what would I be? Probably different selections every day according to my mood, my need, my desire.

If I were food, what would I be? Probably different selections every day according to my lover’s mood, need, desire.

If I were an animal, what would I be? Probably different selections every day, according to my mood, my attitude, my physical condition.

If I were a smell, what would I be? I would be a musky combination of vanilla, clove, musk and ylang-ylang, with a hint of bergemot.

If I were a texture, what would I be? I would be silk, washable yet smooth, cool yet warm when in contact with skin.

If I were a plant, what would I be? I would be peppermint, cool, yet hot and still refreshing and soothing to the stomach.

If I were a flower, what would I be? I think a magnolia, southern and sweet, fragrant and lush, yet tender and easily bruised.

Ok, enough introspection, I need chocolate...
Pax et amore,
d

Round letters

Without words.

Hard words

Meaning nothing.

Writing letters

Saying nothing.

Making words

To kill time.

Empty pages

Full of everything…

what else can I say?

d

Why do I feel like this sometimes…? Like I am too wild to be tied down, like I am too erratic to be stable, like I am too mercurial to be of substance, like I am too young to be this old, like I am too emotional to be this mature?

Is it lack of an anchor, lack of a path, lack of an everlasting love? Why do I cry like this sometimes? Why do I feel so alone? Why can I feel so much from others and give so little back but how I feel? Why do I keep on asking why? And my throat still aches from unshed tears even as I am crying…and my heart still aches from loss of love even as I am trying. I want to be All to someone, but also, to have someone be ALL to me. Is that even possible…? Am I doomed to only feel what others exude or are my own feelings real…? Why do others seem to ignore the possibilities right under their noses...? I keep asking why…and my eyes still cry, like the tears from the sky...

It must be the rain...

d

I got this from SheSpecies, as usual...a little quiz for anyone who is interested:

1. Who are you?

2. Have we ever met?

3. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.

4. Describe me in one word.

5. What reminds you of me?

6. If you could give me anything, what would it be?

7. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?

8. Are you going to put this on your weblog and see
what I say about you?

9. What do you love like a fat kid loves cake?

10. What makes you come back here?
************************* *****************
I can hardly wait to see who will take it! I did it on hers...!

Love y'all!
D

Friends

It’s funny how friendships can grow…
Sometimes like a tree, determined and slow,
Sometimes like a weed in any old place,
Sometimes like air-fern, without any base.
Our friendship, so natural and free,
Seems like a wildflower to me.
A perennial one that always come back,
One that neglect will never turn black.
Like the bluebonnets in Texas, it will always be here.
You know you can count on it, year after year.
So go where you must, land where you will…
Knowing the bluebonnets and me are here for you still!

Yep, the same one who just graduated from college, just got a brand new job with a promotion in 2 days, also just had a birthday today...is she having a good couple of weeks or what? :D

We shopped...and shopped...she got stuff and I watched, is what it amounted to! But it was fun! Then we met the rest of the family and her friends at Texas Land and Cattle and had a wonderful, chatty dinner...Then we went to see the new Harry Potter movie! It was good...I have read all the books so it was amazing to me to see again the characters and creatures in the books come to life. There were 8 of us in one row...the theater was PACKED, good thing the kids are smart enough to order the tickets online!

I am now wide awake and all alone, dammit...
Sometimes I wonder how or why I am here, now, just me and the cat. Because I won't settle for less? Because I am too picky?
Because I need to learn that I can do things myself and be alone and it's all ok...? It just doesn't feel natural to be alone, but I am afraid that if I am alone too long, I might not be able to adjust to living with anyone ever again...do I worry too much? Probably...I think it is a genetic affliction...I attribute my worrying to having a far too active imagination. :roll:

ok...I am going to read some blogs...you all are wonderful, keep the faith, this is a virtual community and I love it here!

Pax vobiscum...
D

My eyes are dark blue, as a matter of fact!
:D

Your Inner Eye Color Is Blue You've got the personality of a blue eyed women You're intense and expressive - and always on the go You've also got a sweet, playful side - which draws men in What's Your Inner Eye Color? Take This Quiz :-) 06.04.04 (3:03 pm)   [edit] Speaking of Insanity... I found this Quiz and couldn't resist! Insanity Test Username Age Your problem is Multiple Personalities Will you ever be cured? (8) - Yes. - (8) Just how crazy are you? - 30% This QuickKwiz by insanitydefense - Taken 57251 Times. New! Get Free Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz :roll: 06.04.04 (2:48 pm)   [edit] Acronymous Yep, borrowed this one from Catherine too... :D D Dreamy A Awkward R Responsible C Crazy I Insane N Nutty A Appealing Name / Username: Name Acronym Generator From Go-Quiz.com **I thought it interesting that 3 of the letters referred to me being a little insane...but then, sanity is SOoo overrated! Sponsored:   Blog   |